THE SECOND BOOK

‘You are going to die. Right now, you’re living on borrowed time. So why do you keep putting things off? Use every day to its fullest. Suck the marrow out of life. Because when your time’s up, that’s it, you don’t get a second go.’

1. Some people are dicks

Let’s face it, on pretty much any day, you’ll come across people who’ll try your patience. They may be rude or ignorant. They may lie to you or try to trick you. They may just be dicks.

Often, this is because they don’t realise that they are, in fact, dicks. They can’t get their heads around the difference between being a good, honest, reasonable person and being an annoying, self-centred jerk.

Thing is though, at some level, all these people are your brothers or sisters. Sure, you may not share parents or siblings or even the same country, but we all share the same essential humanity.

Now, you can decide to be hurt or offended by their words or actions, but that is your choice. Ultimately, however, we all need to be able to live and work together. It’s simply the natural order of things. So get over it.

2. 60% water

What are we all really made of? A little flesh. Some breath in and out. And a chunk of grey matter that runs the show (more or less).

But your flesh is nothing of real concern. It’s just a bunch of muscles, veins, blood and bones held together with some fancy wiring. Your breath comes and goes. It sucks. It blows. So what?

Now the grey matter, that’s where the real stuff happens. Why then squander it getting trapped by every selfish whim, every little distraction? Too many people waste precious time moaning about the present or worrying about the future.

You’re a long time dead, make the time you have count.

3. Change happens

You may believe that some god or divine spirit controls the universe. Alternatively, you might think it’s all down to chance and evolution. Whatever your view, it’s pretty obvious that the world around you is the greater sum of a range of interconnected parts (no matter who or what drives it).

What’s more, it’s changing all the time. In fact, it’s this change that makes pretty much everything else possible. You are a part of this, there are no bystanders in this game. You’ll change the world around you just as surely as it’ll change you. So don’t sweat it.

4. Tick, tick

You are going to die. Right now, you’re living on borrowed time. So why do you keep putting things off? Use every day to its fullest. Suck the marrow out of life. Because when your time’s up, that’s it, you don’t get a second go.

5. Cut the cat pictures

Whatever you’re doing, focus. Do one thing and only one thing. Don’t get distracted by all the crap around you. Ignore your phone, your social newsfeed, your addiction to the next shiny new thing. Get on with the task at hand with a positive mind and a good attitude.

Do this and you’ll realise just how simple living a good life can be.

6. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Isn’t it time you showed yourself some respect? We only have one life and it could end tomorrow. If you don’t respect yourself, your happiness will end up a hostage to what other people think about you.

7. Why worry?

With every new thing that pops into your newsfeed, there is a fresh opportunity to worry about something that’s totally out of your control (assuming you’re not a world leader). Why play this game? It’ll exhaust you and you’ll almost certainly lose.

Instead, take time to learn something new. Something useful and interesting. Something that’ll leave no room for pointless worry.

8. Think of a number

You’re not a mind reader. Too many people get all wound up because they can’t work out what others are really thinking. Yet in reality, the source of your unhappiness has more to do with a failure to understand how your own mind works.

9. Big meet small

Here’s something to focus on. The universe is big. Really, really big. And you are small. Tiny in fact. But however small you are, you’re an inseparable part of the wider mass of everything. And no one can stop you saying or doing what’s in total harmony with the wider universe.

10. Grading arseholes

Some people act like arseholes because they’re angry. Some because they want something (power, sex, stuff). There’s an important difference.

The angry people are often in pain and struggle to control their actions. They suffer twice, once with perceived injustice and then again with the pain of their own response.

Those driven by desire are more self-seeking and calculating. They know that what they’re doing is wrong and do it anyway.

So, ultimately, it’s worse to be driven by desire than by anger.

11. Ready to die?

You should always behave like your next breath will be your last. If there is a god of some sort, you’ve got nothing to fear anyway. If there isn’t (or they simply don’t care about us mere mortals), then forget them.

We’ve evolved to deal with all sorts of challenges, why assume this all falls apart at death? You’re probably more ready to face your end than you realise.

11½. Nothing is good. Nothing is bad.

In the real world, good and bad things happen to good and bad people in pretty much equal measure. Life and death. Riches and poverty. Pain and pleasure. And more often than not, these events don’t change that person in the slightest.

So when you think about it, none of these things is, in its own right, either good or bad.

12. So what?

Everything in life is fleeting. It doesn’t matter whether it’s something that promises pleasure, something that threatens pain or something that inflates our sense of self-importance. Ultimately, when you consider what these mean in the wider span of the universe, it’s all pretty inconsequential.

12½. Don’t fear the reaper

When you really look at it, death is about as natural as things get. You might as well fear the sun coming up. In fact, death is not just a natural event, it also helps keep the whole of nature working by recycling much-needed atoms.

13. Getting out of your head?

It’s kind of sad when you see people going around in circles trying to get into other people’s heads. The truth is, the only head you really need to get into is your own. Once you know your own mind, you can be calm, focused and at peace with the world.

14. No time like the present

It doesn’t matter whether you live for three thousand years or thirty thousand, all you really ever have is the present moment, same as everyone else.

You can’t lose the past, it’s already gone.

You can’t gain the future, it’s not here yet (and may never be).

Ultimately, there are two truths in all this. The first is that everything from the beginning of time is just a bunch of repeating patterns – you can keep watching them go round and round but they’re all the same. The second is that no matter if you die young or old, all you ever lose is the present moment – and even this is not really yours to own.

15. An ass of you and me

At the end of the day, we’re ruled by our assumptions. Of course, you may disagree in your special case (surely this only applies to others). But at least consider the possibility that it’s true.

16. Pressing self-destruct

Call it your ‘soul’, call it your ‘self’, call it what you like. Whatever is the essential youness of you, there are a bunch of ways it can become cancerous to your wellbeing.

You can bitch and moan about the nature of the universe (it ain’t going to change for you my special snowflake).

You can take against others and try to do them harm (what goes around comes around).

You can surrender control when faced by pleasure or pain (get a grip).

You can present a false picture of yourself to the world (how are your Instagram updates looking?).

Or you can do random shit, wasting your time on stuff that’s meaningless (what’s the point?).

17. Let’s get real

What are you really?

The universe has been around for billions of years. You are a mere speck upon a speck. You are a simple collection of atoms held together in a fleshy bag of fluid. Your perception is, at best, a bit wonky and your mind is often all over the place. Your future is, let’s face it, impossible to predict.

When it comes down to it, your body is like a fast-flowing river, always changing. Your thoughts are just smoke and mirrors. Your life is like an ongoing war in a foreign land. And when your time is up, oblivion awaits.

Sounds a bit sucky I know. So, is there nothing that can help you get through it?

The answer is philosophy. By this I don’t mean some convoluted garbage in a never-read book. I mean the kind of thinking that protects your soul, self, spirit (or whatever you call it). The kind that frees you from being governed by pain and pleasure. That stops you doing random stuff for the sake of it.

It’s the kind of philosophy that understands that shit happens and prepares us for our ultimate demise without freaking anyone out. It knows that when you shuffle off this mortal coil, it’s just a way of Mother Nature redistributing your atoms – so why worry about it?

After all, those atoms were around long before you made use of them and will carry on being useful until the end of the universe.